Kate Warren

fiction with humor and heart

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Excerpt

Happy 200th, Pride & Prejudice!

1/28/2013

2 Comments

 
Ladies and gentlemen, readers and Austen fans of all ages,

We all know this is a special day for Jane's most popular novel.  In celebration I am posting the personal ads I created for the main characters several years ago.  I hope you enjoy reading them as much as I enjoyed writing them.



Wickham:  Single white scoundrel seeks sweet young thing for weekends of fun in the sun. Interested parties send picture and 10 pounds to __________.

Darcy: 
Serious single man of means requires a woman of grace, intelligence, and spirit for witty banter and humbling declarations. Hoping for a societal equal, but willing to slum if the heart demands it. Please send resume.

Elizabeth: 
Nothing but the deepest love will induce me into matrimony. Are you game? Looking for a man who can hold his own in conversation, is loyal and truthful, must dance. Poets need not apply.

Caroline: 
Single society goddess seeks man of good fortune and exceptional taste. Must possess an excellent mind, a healthy appreciation for cleavage, and be named Fitzwilliam Darcy. Applicants from Derbyshire given preference.

Collins: 
Humble man of the cloth seeks woman of beauty and means to make his life worth living. If you like compliments, then I am the clergyman for you. I can offer a most excellent situation courtesy of my most noble and condescending patroness Lady Catherine de Burgh, and once my cousin takes his leave of this earth I will inherit an estate near Meryton. I should be most happy to obtain the hand of any lady who is handsome, charming, and willing to give me the time of day. I will do anything my lady requires. I'll be your devoted slave. I'm desperate. Please! 

Charlotte: 
Happiness in marriage is a matter of chance, so take a
chance on me. I'm not choosy and would prefer a man who is open to suggestions from a most amiable wife. I'm a no nonsense lady with low expectations in life. You will gain a sensible wife of good family who is willing to overlook how annoying you are in exchange for security and relative peace. Also I have a hot best friend you can drool over.
 
Jane: 
Reserved young lady with embarrassing family seeks amiable young man to take me away from it all. Looking for marriage and 10 children. Must be able to tolerate frequent visits from silly mother-and-sisters-in-law. Please get me out of here. I do hope mother doesn't see this ad.
 
Bingley: 
Handsome young man of very reliable means seeks blooming country angel. This knight is ready to ride to your rescue. Likes music, loves to dance. Prefers mysterious shy quiet beauties. Let me be your Romeo and I guarantee a happy ending.
 
Lydia: 
Silly white female of youthful and playful disposition seeks fun-loving adventurous type. Must be dressed in regimentals, and generous with flattery. Willing to try anything once. Call me.

Mary: 
Intelligent, spiritually minded young lady seeks man of integrity for quiet evenings of prayer and reflection. Must possess a thorough knowledge of Scripture. Latin and Greek skills a plus. Would prefer a clergyman, but let's face it they're not exactly beating down the door. Preference given to individuals from Meryton, as I do not like to travel. Interested parties please write an essay on the virtue of purity and the family life, 1000 words minimum.
 
Kitty:  
Young lady who is not as silly as I used to be wishes to find a handsome young man of character, as father will not consent if I do not choose a sensible man. Prefer to live in or near Derbyshire to be close to my sisters Mrs. Bingley and Mrs. Darcy as I no longer speak to my sister Mrs. Wickham. Why did she have to get married before I did? I'm older. Would like wedding trip to Brighton.
 
Maria Lucas:  
Younger sister of realist, daughter of a knight, seeks handsome man who does not drone incessantly. Having seen the match my sister made leads me to believe that it would be best to marry a man from far away, therefore I would like to start a family in Wales or Scotland if possible. Would like intelligent man, wealth not a problem for me, but mostly just want to be loved and cherished. Sincere gentlemen may apply to my father Sir William Lucas for his approval before courting my favor. Prefer Col. Fitzwilliam type.

Lady Catherine: 
Dominant matriarch seeks submissive man of fortune and breeding for companionship and role-playing. Applicants must show investment portfolio, possess excellent taste in music, art, and literature, speak 5 languages, and have own whip. Send pedigree to Rosings Park, Kent for consideration. 

Anne de Burgh:  
Gentle young lady of delicate constitution is searching for a handsome and romantic doctor of good family to get me the hell away from my domineering mother. Must not intimidate easily. I am pale and shy, but my dowry will make up for that. I may be a late bloomer, but I intend to learn quickly. Prefer to reside in or near Bath. Your caged bird awaits. Must understand metaphors.
2 Comments

Farewell Six Sentence Sunday!

1/26/2013

20 Comments

 
I have so much enjoyed being part of this tradition.  Even though I know many of us will continue it in some form, it is still a melancholy occasion to have the official SSS over.  Thank you to all the friends I have met, all who have visited, all who have commented, through Six Sentence Sunday.

This week I will continue from last week, in Chapter 18.  Prince Gregory seems to have struck a chord with everyone.  He's a charmer, so that's not really a surprise. :o)  We join him as he readies



          He moved back three paces to the next line, tested the second dagger, studied the target for a moment, and before anyone expected it he had flung the weapon straight down the field.  This time the blade struck where the heart would have been had a man been standing in the dummy’s place.  
          The approbation was deafening—clapping and cheering, and none was louder than that of the prince’s own family.  Maksim jumped down from the royal box to congratulate his new brother. He was indeed honored that the boy had wished to pay tribute to him.  The people cheered louder at this.



 
For reference, Prince Maksim of Muscovy is betrothed to Gregory's sister, Princess Sylvia, and Gregory very much looks up to Maksim.

That's my six.  I'll see you all around the web as I make the Six Sentence Sunday rounds one last time.  Thank you for letting me be part of your Sundays.

Kate
20 Comments

Six Sentence Sunday  1/20/13

1/19/2013

23 Comments

 
Thank you to all my visitors last Sunday.  I enjoy going around to the blogs of other authors and reading the wonderful excerpts, and I greatly appreciate that you have taken the time to visit mine.

Can you believe it is the penultimate Six Sentence Sunday?  I haven't really been participating for very long.  I know there are many of us who will continue the tradition unofficially.  And Skye Warren has a sign-up on her blog to gauge interest for continuing it on a less informal basis on a different site.  Still, I will miss the original SSS.

On to this week's Six.  I shall once again be employing my random scrolling method.  We're in Chapter 18, at the tournament, just before the dagger throwing competition and the impetuous youngest member of the royal family, thirteen year old Gregory, has talked his way into being allowed to throw.  He is not to participate in the competition but is allowed to exhibit his skills, however, he will have only two daggers instead of the three that competitors are allowed.  His mother the queen is holding her breath.

      
          The prince took his place and a hush fell over the crowd. He stared hard at the target, ignoring all else, and then lifted his first dagger from the nearby table. He tossed the instrument gently twice, testing its weight and feel. He grasped the dagger firmly by the blade, took a breath, and pitched it toward the target without hesitation. It found its home deep in the belly area of the dummy. The applause was great, but he had still one more dagger to throw.


Ah Gregory!  He's such a character, no pun intended.  He lucked out on this stunt.  Any other time he might have gotten a royal punishment.  Lucky he chose his sister's betrothal celebration and paid tribute to her betrothed with his request.

That's all from me for this week.  See you on the other Six Sentence Sunday blogs.

Kate

23 Comments

The 7 Writer Challenge

1/14/2013

4 Comments

 
The lovely K Meador was kind enough (or diabolical enough) to tag me in the 7 Writer Challenge.  According to the rules I must go to either page 7 or page 77 of one of my works (it wasn't specific), and starting on line 7, post the next 7 lines.  After that I must challenge 7 other writers to do the same.

Given that the rules do not state whether it must be a current WIP or another story, I'm going to take advantage of that vague point and use my current *best-seller Bridging The Gaps.
Picture

From page 7:

          “Perfect. Her parents must have known she’d grow up to be a bimbo.”
          “Stephanie, don’t talk about Chloe that way, or I’ll…”
          “You’ll what? Spank me? Take away my allowance? Really Dad, do you actually think you can still make me do things?”
          He took another deep breath. “Chloe is part of my life now.  That makes her part of yours.”


Now to challenge 7 other writers:

Cara Bristol
Sarah Peloquin
Lorraine Paton
JMBlackman
Joanne Stewart
Elizabeth Marx
Sandra  Sookoo

Ladies, you are the chosen.  We will journey together to Mount Doom to defeat the...wait a minute.  We're not in The Hobbit, are we?  Oh well, happy challenge, everyone!

Kate


*among books written by a Wisconsinite, that feature a dentist in a romantic role



4 Comments

Six Sentence Sunday  1/13/12

1/12/2013

23 Comments

 
Hello again friends and internet neighbors.  Welcome to another Six Sentence Sunday in KateWarrenLand.  And a great big thank you to everyone who came to visit last week, those who read, those who commented, those who landed at the wrong website and immediately left. 

As comments have been so lovely and supportive and several have expressed a wish to know how the tournament ended, we will continue where we left off last week for this six.  Though next week I fully intend to revert to my random scrolling method.



          It seemed that Sir Anton had made an error and Lord Allemande was pressing his advantage to the full.  Just at the last second, a shift of balance by
Sir Anton reversed the deficit and gave him the victory.
          The crowd roared its approval for a match well fought and a triumph earned.  Both men lowered their weapons wearily.  Anton raised his arm in acknowledgement of the spectators’ admiration.  Geoffrey exhaled in a
pungent mixture of misery and relief.



That is all for me this week.  I'll be visiting off visiting the other Six Sentence Sunday authors throughout the day, and I hope you will be too.

Kate

23 Comments

Six Sentence Sunday  1/6/2013

1/5/2013

23 Comments

 
Here we are on the first Sunday of the new year, the first Six Sentence Sunday to be precise.  And sadly, one of the last as well. I've enjoyed meeting so many talented authors and reading their words each Sunday.  I've noticed a few people talking about continuing the tradition and I might do that as well.  Nothing formal of course, just posting sentences on Sundays.  Some weeks this is my only blog post.

But enough of that.  On to more pleasant topics.  Thank you to my readers and commenters from last week.  I value your words and encouragement more than I can say.  This week I shall continue from last week's six.  I forget which chapter we're in, but two men are fighting for a championship.  Last week's six touched on the fears and hopes of Sir Anton DuClerque's betrothed, Graciela Galindez (her name is much longer but I can't remember it all).  This week, we turn to Lord Geoffrey Allemande's admirer, who also happens to be a princess.


          Katarina braced herself for the ending she knew must be imminent. Either outcome would be a relief to her now. She felt as if she had been holding her breath, and holding herself rigid for an age. If only it would end. Win or lose, but let it be over, she cried in her mind.
          In a moment the viewers were all on their feet.


That's all for me this week.  Next time it will be back to random scrolling.  See you all around the web as I do my Six Sentence Sunday visits, assuming the kids will let me use the computer.

Kate

23 Comments

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