Kate Warren

fiction with humor and heart

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Excerpt

Aggression and Autism

4/30/2012

5 Comments

 
You might not know this but there are autistic children who have problems with aggression.  I'm not talking about bullies.  Autistic children aren't capable of bullying, in fact they are often the victims of bullying.

There are several theories on why some autistic children are aggressive.  A recent study has found that some factors make no difference, they include: level of functioning, level of intelligence (as measured by IQ scores), the education level of the parents, gender, low income.  Pretty much all the things that tend to be indicators in the general population are non-indicators for autistic children.  The only thing they know for sure has something to do with it is repetitive behaviors, also called stimming.  

I know this issue intimately because I have a son who is aggressive.  He is the most affected of the three boys (meaning his autism is worse than that of his brothers).  In general he is a happy, laid-back, loving kid.  But when he gets overwhelmed he sometimes loses control.  It's hard because he's only eight but he's tall and strong for his age, nearly as strong as his father who grew up tossing hay bales around like they were frisbees.

I have scars leftover from scratches and bites.  I've been kicked and hit, and had things thrown at me.  So has almost everyone in the family.  He's been exceptionally gentle with his little sister and the dog.  But even they get in the way sometimes.

Whenever our youngest son goes into a meltdown priority one is make sure his sister is out of the room, then see to the dog's safety.  When possible we try to get him into a room that is set aside as a safe place for him.  There's nothing in there that we can't replace if he breaks it, and nothing with which he can hurt himself.   We never know for certain when he will lose control, but he always cries and apologizes when he comes back to himself.  This is not something he wants.

We do know what sets him off but he is inconsistent about it.  He doesn't understand why he can't go to his grandparents' house on a school day.  Most days he is fine with being told no on that.  Once in a while, the disappointment is too much to him.  

Too much sensory stimulation can set him off as well.  That is difficult because he actually seeks out the sensory input that many other children on the spectrum would avoid.  

He does stim and hates having his stimming interrupted.  One of his stims is throwing things into the air to watch them fall.  I mentioned in a previous post that all the flour and starches are locked up.  This is why.  He loves watching powdery things fall on the floor, and on himself.  Another is rewinding videos/DVDs.  This one is pretty common among ASD children.

Our fears about our son and his behavior include the very real possibility that at some point in the future we will be unable to care for him.  He needs almost constant supervision and has for some time.  We are doing everything we can to try and prevent his having to go somewhere else (a treatment home or an institution, scary words for a parent).  The thought of losing him makes me cry.  I remember him as a sweet little baby.  I know he doesn't want to be like this.  And I know that if he had to go away he wouldn't understand.  There isn't anyone here who wouldn't miss him every day, but we will do whatever is best for him, whatever will help him.  There is hope that if it does happen it will be temporary.

Many parents face these same situations and fears every day.  Not everyone has the wonderful support team that we have.  All of the therapy team, doctors and school staff have been wonderful.  We read stories about autistic children being abused at school and we thank God that our boys have never had that, that such amazing and caring people work with our sons.  

One last word.  This is the last day of Autism Awareness Month, so I ask you again to please be aware.  If you see someone out in public with a child who is acting up, please stop before you think ill of the parents, or give them a dirty look, or worse yet say something unhelpful.  That child may be autistic.  That parent may be struggling not to burst into tears.  It is a tough life and each of us with children on the spectrum have felt the condemnation of strangers when our children act unusually in public.  We feel inadequate and sometimes even blame ourselves for things that are beyond our control.  We are just like other parents.  We could use a smile, or a kind word.  Sometimes that will be what helps us get through the rest of the day. 

Thank you for reading what was a difficult post for me to write.  

Kate
5 Comments

Six Sentence Sundays 4/29/12

4/29/2012

32 Comments

 
Welcome to another Six Sentence Sunday in Kate Warren Land.  Thank you readers and commenters for your support!  You don't know how much it means to me.  I bring you another offering from my upcoming contemporary novel, Bridging The Gaps.

Last week Ellen was having lunch with her old friend Rita, and it turned out Rita's handsome brother Henry was having lunch in the same restaurant.  This week: Ellen's reaction to seeing Henry again after so many years.


    Ellen found herself staring.  Henry Caldwell had been smitten with her once upon a time, back when he’d been a hopelessly shy and gangly teenaged boy.  Nothing of that boy was evident in the confident man before her, particularly not the infatuation with her.  He seemed indifferent to her existence, except as a friend of his sister.
    “What are you doing here?” Rita questioned
him.


   Little do they both know, Rita's got plans for them.  Be sure to check out the other Six Sentence Sunday participants.  You'll be glad you did.

32 Comments

Kreativ Blogger Award

4/25/2012

9 Comments

 
Picture
I'd like to thank the other nominees.  Seriously, Lorraine Paton has included me in an amazing group of writers by nominating me for the Kreativ Blogger Award with six other frighteningly talented ladies.  Thank you Lorraine!

Now for the details.  
The rules state that I must:


1. Thank the blogger who nominated me and link back to her blog.
2.  List 7 things about myself that the readers might find interesting.
3.  Nominate 7 other bloggers, provide links to their blogs, and let them know about their nomination.

7 things about me:

1.  I was home-schooled and graduated from high school at the age of 14.  Went on to complete two years of college before dropping out when I got married and moved.  Lest anyone wonder about what kind of education I got at home up until the age of 14, I would like to add that when I left college I had a 3.67 GPA.  The class reunions are pretty boring--just me and a mirror--but I don't have to share the pizza. ;)

2.  In addition to writing books, I also write songs and sing them.  I recorded an album under a stage name in 2004, using all my own music.  The music went by the wayside after the boys were diagnosed with their autistic spectrum disorders.  One of my songs can be heard here:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ig64WWFA0oQ 

3.  I like to design floor plans for homes, specifically castles.

4.  I'm a talented paper snowflake artist.  I don't use patterns so I never know what they're going to look like when they're finished.  I like to use gold or silver spray paint on them.  

5.  Two other career options I considered were lawyer and actress.  

6.  My unfinished WsIP include a gothic parody, bad romance novels (not making fun of the genre, just having fun with it), a stageplay, a Jane Austen fan fic, an untitled Regency story which may or may not be a romance, and several pieces whose identities and futures are as yet unknown to me.  I've got one that's just a single sentence.

7.   I know the postal abbreviations for all 50 states.  I'm not sure why I know them, but I do.

The nominees are:

Angela Quarles
Jes Langan
Kate Meader
Joanne Stewart
Sandra Sookoo
Sarah Balance
Ursula Grey


9 Comments

Six Sentence Sundays 4/22/12

4/22/2012

30 Comments

 
Thank you to everyone who reads and comments.  You all make my week! 

This week we will continue with another six sentences from Chapter 8.


From her position facing the rear of the room, Rita spotted a familiar face and swallowed her tea quickly.  “Why hello.  Fancy meeting you here.”  She got up to kiss the cheek of a handsome slightly older man who was most definitely not her husband.  “You remember Ellen, don’t you?  Ellie, you remember my brother Henry?”


Not as action-packed as my usual choices, but trust me it's important.  Be sure to visit the other talented authors who participate in Six Sentence Sunday.

30 Comments

Autism Awareness

4/18/2012

4 Comments

 
April is Autism Awareness Month.  As my regular readers know, I have three boys with autism spectrum disorders, and one daughter without.  This makes life interesting, to say the least.  Kids on the spectrum like to have everything the same all the time.  Alas, life is not always like that.  The simplest thing, like changing from winter coats to spring jackets can cause major headaches.  I've got one who won't wear long sleeved shirts...ever.  He also can't be in the room with an unfinished bowl of cereal (seriously, he will throw up).

When I tell people about my boys they often ask "when do you have time to write?"  The answer is "whenever I can steal a few minutes."  The other answer is "November."

My oldest has Asperger's Syndrome.  The next one down has High-Functioning Autism.  Then the youngest son has Mild to Moderate Autism.  The easiest way to explain the difference is that we're trying to get the younger boys to talk more and the oldest not to talk as much.

Currently it's our youngest son who is the biggest challenge.  He is tall and strong for his age, and has aggression issues.  He is improving a bit every day, but needs constant supervision.  He's bright, and cheerful and loving.  He's also the reason why all flours and other baking ingredients must be locked up (he loves watching things fall).  He only goes to school for two hours each day right now.  And he has at times run off.  In autism this is called "elopement."  Of course we families have another term for it, "scary."  Like I said, life is interesting. 

Our family is really very lucky though.  It's hard to remember that some days, but we are.  Our boys are smart and affectionate.  There is no epilepsy or retardation.  There is hope for the future, because they are all making progress.  They adore their little sister, and she loves them right back.  She will grow up more sensitive to those who are different.

It's a difficult life, but it is also rewarding.  We don't go to ball games or zoos.  We don't take vacations.  The park or a restaurant is still a gamble for us.  There is even one family member who won't invite us to her house more than once a year.  None of that matters when one of my boys looks up and says "I love you Mom" or hands me a flower he picked for me.  It's not the life we expected, but we can still find joy in it even amidst our fears and challenges. 

On to the awareness part.  If you don't know much about autism, please take this month as an opportunity to learn.  It's not just Rain Man (which I have to admit I've never seen).  It's not bad parenting, as many, many people still say.  It's not one thing either.  Each child on the spectrum is different and has different challenges and symptoms.  There is speculation that some of the greatest minds in human history were on the spectrum: Albert Einstein, Thomas Jefferson, Jane Austen, the list goes on and on.  Different can be challenging, but it is not always bad
4 Comments

Six Sentence Sundays 4/15/12

4/15/2012

26 Comments

 
Welcome back to another Six Sentence Sunday.  A wonderful time when authors post exactly six sentences of their work.

This week we are skipping ahead to chapter 8 because that's where I'm currently working.  Ellen, feeling better, is reconnecting with an old friend.  We join them in a restaurant where they have met for lunch, and her friend offers a toast to the louse who left. 


   The server set their glasses down and went back to the kitchen for the mixed green salad.  “To Doug!”
   “To Doug?”  It was Ellen’s turn to raise her eyebrows.
   “To Doug!”  Rita repeated, “May he grow old quickly and lose all his hair to a freak shampoo accident!”



That's my six for the week.  Be sure to check out the other fabulously talented authors who participate in Six Sentence Sundays.
26 Comments

Poetry.

4/11/2012

2 Comments

 
It's Wednesday again and I'd like to share with you a poem I wrote a few years ago.  Yes, I do write the occasional poem in addition to my myriad other bits and pieces of literary

In spring...

In spring when rivulets of rain
Run silent in their splendor
Down the canvas of a pane
‘Tis he alone who sighs
and ponders all the meaning and the motives
of the foolish and the wise

As love is worn away
So does the brilliance of the mind
Encouraged in his day
Forsake the blinding wealth 
That lured him from the truth
To smother him by stealth

The heart beats but in vain
No comfort lingers
No words ease the pain
When love has lost the race
And whispers as it longs 
for one remembered face.


I hope you liked it.  That's all for this week.  I'll see you on Sunday, and again next Wednesday.
Kate
2 Comments

Six Sentence Sundays 4/8/12

4/8/2012

22 Comments

 
A big thank you to everyone who read and commented last week.  Your words help me to stay focused and inspired.

Last week we met Ellen as she pulled pictures containing her soon to be ex-husband's face from the walls and flung them into a garbage bag.  This week's six sentences come from the same scene.  Ellen has noticed their wedding picture across the room, grabbed a fire poker and taken a running start.



She beat it mercilessly.  “Love!  Honor!  Cherish!”  She took a breath to steady herself for one last blow and muttered, “keep thee only unto, my ass!”  Stepping on the shards for good measure she headed for the master bedroom, ignoring the doorbell’s insistent chiming.



Please support all the wonderful writers who participate in Six Sentence Sunday by visiting their blogs/websites.
22 Comments

Bad writing is a good thing.

4/4/2012

0 Comments

 
"WHAT?!"  you say.  Hear me out, or maybe that should be read me out.  Either way...

When I started writing, the desire to write was a burning passion within me.  I wanted it desperately.  And everything I wrote sucked.  I don't mean it was a little bit bad, I mean it was really, really lousy.  Contrived, stilted, forced.  That was my writing.  No format was spared.  I wrote bad songs, bad plays, bad poems.  I didn't even know how bad I was.

Two things saved me from continuing down the enticing path of verbose failure: 1) a revelation of sorts; 2) time.

The revelation was that I was trying too hard.  I wanted it so badly that I overdid everything.  I was trying to force the stories out, and that does not work for me.  This is not the same as forcing yourself to write to break past a block, or to establish good authorial habits.  It's closer to telling someone to act normal when they know there's a gun pointed at them, and it just doesn't work.

The second saving quality is sadly not of the magical one-day-I-woke-up-and-wrote-like-a-genius type.  And this is where my topic title comes in.  It took a lot of writing to get where I am, and a lot of that was bad writing.  Bad writing is practice.  Practice is important for anything that you wish to master, be it the piano, a sport, or the ability to string words into a sentence that doesn't bore people to death.  Practice is good.  Bad writing is practice.  Therefore, bad writing is good. 


If you think you're writing is terrible, rejoice!  You're practicing.  As you continue to practice, you'll improve.    Every literary masterpiece was rewritten and edited.  Give yourself time, and permission to practice, and you'll continue toward becoming the best writer you can be.

In the meantime, cut yourself some slack.  

0 Comments

Six Sentence Sundays 4/1/12

4/1/2012

18 Comments

 
I want to thank everyone who visits and comments on Sundays.  You guys always make my day!  I am switching my focus back to my latest completed novel, so this week's Six Sentences are from it.  The title is Bridging The Gaps.

I give you the opening sentences.  The main character has been left by her husband and has finally worked up the energy to get angry.


     Crash.  
     Breaking glass punctuated angrily muttered statements as Ellen Pritchard pulled pictures from the walls and threw them in a black plastic garbage bag.  “Bastard.”  A family vacation photo was pulled from its perch.  “Twenty five years of my life.”  Down came a picture taken at a church fundraiser.


I hope you enjoyed them.  If you'd like to read more, the rest of Chapter 1 is on the site.  Just click on Excerpt above or in the menu to the left.  Please remember to visit the other talented authors who participate in Six Sentence Sundays.
18 Comments

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