Kate Warren

fiction with humor and heart

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Excerpt

Autism Awareness

4/18/2012

4 Comments

 
April is Autism Awareness Month.  As my regular readers know, I have three boys with autism spectrum disorders, and one daughter without.  This makes life interesting, to say the least.  Kids on the spectrum like to have everything the same all the time.  Alas, life is not always like that.  The simplest thing, like changing from winter coats to spring jackets can cause major headaches.  I've got one who won't wear long sleeved shirts...ever.  He also can't be in the room with an unfinished bowl of cereal (seriously, he will throw up).

When I tell people about my boys they often ask "when do you have time to write?"  The answer is "whenever I can steal a few minutes."  The other answer is "November."

My oldest has Asperger's Syndrome.  The next one down has High-Functioning Autism.  Then the youngest son has Mild to Moderate Autism.  The easiest way to explain the difference is that we're trying to get the younger boys to talk more and the oldest not to talk as much.

Currently it's our youngest son who is the biggest challenge.  He is tall and strong for his age, and has aggression issues.  He is improving a bit every day, but needs constant supervision.  He's bright, and cheerful and loving.  He's also the reason why all flours and other baking ingredients must be locked up (he loves watching things fall).  He only goes to school for two hours each day right now.  And he has at times run off.  In autism this is called "elopement."  Of course we families have another term for it, "scary."  Like I said, life is interesting. 

Our family is really very lucky though.  It's hard to remember that some days, but we are.  Our boys are smart and affectionate.  There is no epilepsy or retardation.  There is hope for the future, because they are all making progress.  They adore their little sister, and she loves them right back.  She will grow up more sensitive to those who are different.

It's a difficult life, but it is also rewarding.  We don't go to ball games or zoos.  We don't take vacations.  The park or a restaurant is still a gamble for us.  There is even one family member who won't invite us to her house more than once a year.  None of that matters when one of my boys looks up and says "I love you Mom" or hands me a flower he picked for me.  It's not the life we expected, but we can still find joy in it even amidst our fears and challenges. 

On to the awareness part.  If you don't know much about autism, please take this month as an opportunity to learn.  It's not just Rain Man (which I have to admit I've never seen).  It's not bad parenting, as many, many people still say.  It's not one thing either.  Each child on the spectrum is different and has different challenges and symptoms.  There is speculation that some of the greatest minds in human history were on the spectrum: Albert Einstein, Thomas Jefferson, Jane Austen, the list goes on and on.  Different can be challenging, but it is not always bad
4 Comments
Teresa Cypher link
4/21/2012 04:06:57 pm

This is a beautiful post, Kate. I can't imagine how regimented your daily life must be. And I so admire you for approaching it with such strength--above and beyond what you personally need... extra--to get the word out and to help others. Kudos. :-)

Reply
Kate Warren
4/22/2012 12:02:50 am

Thank you Teresa!

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Carrie-Anne link
4/22/2012 11:36:30 am

Do you know if there's a Friendship Circle or similar group in your area? It's predominantly a Jewish organization matching special-needs kids with teen volunteers, but I know some of them offer their services to special-needs children of any religion. I know a lot of people in my area who have special-needs kids, including autism, who say the group has done wonders for their children. They do both one-on-one interaction and group events like bowling, art projects, and dancing. They also have meetings for parents from time to time.

I have mild Asperger's, and was finally diagnosed three years ago, after many years of my mother and I suspecting that was the cause of my unexplained social, emotional, and behavioral problems in elementary school. My behavior was a lot worse as a child, before the disorder had a name. It must be a small miracle that I was able to improve so much on my own over the years, without having the kids of special ed and other resources kids today have.

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Kate Warren
4/22/2012 11:45:01 am

I hadn't heard of Friendship Circle before. I will check into that. There isn't really much of anything in our area. We have Special Olympics but our oldest isn't interested and our youngest boy is too unpredictable to participate. Of course the middle one still might. There may be a Friendship Circle nearby that I don't know of. Thank you for the suggestion, Carrie-Anne!

The younger two boys have moved into post-intensive therapy a few months ago. It's been a good transition for the older of the two, but not for the younger. It's a few hours a week at our home. Down from 20 hours per week during the intensive phase. Wisconsin is a good state to be in for autism. But there is more available in the big cities and we live in the country.

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