Kate Warren

Welcome back, ladies and gentleman for another wonderful edition of Weekend Writing Warriors.  Through the wonders of modern technology we writers can share eight sentences of our work with the world without sharing our colds with the readers.  Yes, I mean me.  I am rather on the medicated side and cannot be held completely accountable for anything I say that is more ridiculous than usual. ;)

What did Gillian mean last week when she asked Duncan if he is a simpleton?  As with most things, context is important, and to add some context I give you the next eight sentences...

          “You might have brought it to me another time.  Are you so easily discouraged that you would not take such an opportunity of seeing me again?”
          He was speechless.  It had not occurred to him that any lady who looked so sweet and innocent could possess a mind so calculating.  He also felt heartily ashamed that he had not thought of the stratagem himself.  A surge of respect, mingled with desire raced through him and he clasped her hands, heedless of others who might be watching them.  “Tell me your name.” he insisted.
          “Gillian,” she whispered as she pulled her hands from his grasp, taking her book with her as she fled.






Thus we have our context, and Duncan has the girl's name...or part of it anyway.  Since there are only seven sentences left in the in the scene, I shall return next week to my random scrolling method of snippet selection.


Kate

Greetings friends and readers!  Welcome to another wonderful edition of: 

a blog-hop wherein writers around the world share 8 sentences of their work for your reading pleasure.  Click on the banner above to get the whole list of participating authors, complete with links right to their WeWriWa posts!

This week in KateWarrenLand I'm still having headaches.  I'm actually typing with my shades/sunglasses on to keep my eyeballs from exploding due to the glare of the computer screen.  Hopefully I'll be feeling better tomorrow.  May be time for a massage, or a visit to the chiropractor.

Anyhow, here we are in Chapter 9 of The DeFord Chronicles, Part II with Duncan and Gillian.  Last week Duncan used perhaps THE smoothest 15th century pick-up line.  This week: Gillian reacts...

          She blushed and looked away.  “I am no angel, my lord.”  Her voice held a faint trace of irritation. 
          She began to move away and Duncan’s spirits sank.  A bit of color shone in the corner of his eye and he recognized it as the maiden’s book.  She must have dropped it in her concern for him, though he had not heard it fall--he had been too concerned with the thudding sound of his body hitting the floor.  Duncan quickly snatched up the book and hurried to catch up with her.
          “My lady!”




Not quite the reaction he was anticipating, but for Duncan, that only enhances her charms. He likes a challenge. ;)


See you around the 'hop.


Kate

It's the weekend again, and here we are basking in literary excerpts once more. Eight lines of poetry or prose can lift us to the heights, or plunge us to the depths, as wordsmiths blithely toy with our emotions.  Yes, that includes me. ;)

If you wish to join in the fun, either in reading or in posting (or how about both?) along with the Weekend Writing Warriors, click on the image below.

Continuing from last week...after literally falling for his dream girl, Duncan lost his heart in her eyes and her readily expressed concern for him.  Let's see where it goes from there. *creative punctuation has been used*


          He rose with as much grace as he could muster under the circumstances and stared at her without being remotely abashed. 
          The lady made no comment, merely looked at him for what seemed like both hours and mere seconds.  “What is your name?”
          “Duncan.  What is yours, will I be able to say it?”
          She frowned slightly, confused.  “Why should you not?”
          “I have heard that angels’ names are not fit for human tongues--and you must surely be an angel.”



That Duncan is such a sweet-talker, but he's never used that line before.  This girl brings out his inner poet.

I'm battling another bad headache tonight, but hoping it won't be plaguing me tomorrow.  

Kate

Good morning. At least it's morning as I'm typing. If you're reading this later in the day, good afternoon or good evening.

Another weekend, another eight sentences.  Today we're continuing from where we left off in Chapter 9 of The DeFord Chronicles, Part II, with Duncan St. Robert about to meet someone who could be very important to him...


          His heart stopped beating in his chest, and then resumed at a galloping pace.  This maiden had alabaster skin and delicate brows framing eyes that beckoned to him despite the fact that she had not seen him.  He could not tell the color of those enchanting orbs and he felt as if his life’s work must be to discover their hue. 
          Duncan squared his shoulders, took ten steps toward her…and tripped. 
          Red curls appeared in front of his face.  “Are you hurt?”  He looked up into gray-green eyes filled with concern for him, and in that instant lost his heart. 
          “I feel no pain,”  he said truthfully.




The poor boy didn't stand a chance. For the record, Duncan fully and wholeheartedly believes in love at first sight. I'm taking votes...would you like to continue from here next weekend, or would you prefer something random?

See you around the WeWriWa blog hop!

Kate

Welcome back to KateWarrenLand for another episode of #8Sunday.  We dauntless Weekend Writing Warriors post eight sentences of our work each weekend.  Click above for the list of authors who are participating this week.

I'm going back in time this week, because I wanted to find something less depressing to post.  And so we pick up at the very beginning of Chapter 9 in The DeFord Chronicles, Part II.


          Duncan St. Robert slowly moved away from the glum Duke of Langdon. The man had everything and he behaved as if he were the lowest beggar at times. Low spirits were not for Duncan. He went in search of diversion, be it gaming, hunting, or feasting. Room after room he searched and found nothing. The gardens were irksomely empty. On his third visit to the great hall his attention was caught by a mass of copper curls. 
          The maiden stood with her back to him, and her riot of red locks reached to her waist, set off perfectly by the turquoise color of her gown. She appeared to be reading a book, unaware of her surroundings. Duncan edged closer, hoping for a better look and then she turned.


  One of Chauncy DeFord's dearest friends, Duncan is something of a player, though a harmless one. He's never been in love, and has very few serious thoughts in his head.  His sisters say that when he falls, he's going to fall hard. 

That's all from me this week.  I hope everyone is having a wonderful weekend.  Thank you to those who read, and to those who comment.  I'll see you as I make the rounds visiting my fellow-authors blogs.

Kate

Hello, friends and readers.  Welcome to my first WeWriWa post of 2015!
It's great to be back...again.  Tonight wraps up my birthday week, and I have to say that I highly recommend both the movie "Into The Woods" and chocolate-cherry cake.

Two weeks ago, Lord Everard Carlisle got seriously dissed by Count Marcel DuClerque (and trust me, the guy totally deserved it).  This weekend I must choose between posting the very next eight sentences, or going back to my signature "random scrolling method."  *cue theme from Jeopardy!*

Going way back in time to Chapter 12, we have our first tragedy of the novel.  A poisoned arrow meant for the Crown Prince has instead struck a member of the royal party named Andrew Boyd.  His wife Eleanor is there, as is a healer who has explained that there is nothing to be done.  Eleanor knows there isn't much time left.


          She strained to hear his voice. “Don’t want you… see me this way.  Go.”
          “I will not!” she cried, pressing a kiss to his hand, her tears the only warmth she felt as his pulse began to weaken.  His breath was coming harder now.  She looked in his eyes and saw fear that made her weep even more.  Andrew had never feared anything.
          He whispered “Mercy…oh Lord” and was still.


Andrew didn't even learn before dying that Eleanor was with child again.  It still breaks me up to read this scene, years after writing it.

I'll see you all around the web, and I promise to post something less depressing next week, should the scrolling cooperate.

Kate

Ladies and gentlemen, I'm back.  How I have missed the weekly camaraderie and visiting with my fellow writers!  Some of you may have wondered where I disappeared to, and the answer is burnout-ville.  For nearly a year I've been withdrawn and exhausted, and not even writing. The good news is that I am now on the mend, and returning to civilization.  And now...on to the eight!

We're in Chapter 43 of The DeFord Chronicles, Part II and Lord Everard Carlisle has just learned he's been outsmarted regarding the marriage of his niece.  The speaker is Count Marcel DuClerque, son of His Grace the Duke of Oglen. Carlisle has just demanded to see the duke about the matter.

          “You may seek an audience with him if you wish it, but he will tell you what I am telling you now.” Marcel may not have smiled but his eyes at least spoke of pleasure in the message he conveyed. “I saw the original draft of the contract.  Saw with my own eyes that it was always intended for my nephew to wed your niece. I saw the document while the ink of your signature was still wet.  If you wish to blame someone for the trick you feel was played you, blame the fool who signed a contract he had not bothered to read. You shall find him in the looking glass.  Good day to you.”

Marcel has turned out to be far more fun to write than I'd anticipated, and Carlisle is an odious man, so writing this scene was extra enjoyable.

I may not be posting next Sunday, as that is my birthday.  So I'll go ahead and say Happy New Year to you all, and Happy-Merry Whatever You Celebrate!

See you around the WeWriWa list.

Kate

Authors are pretty lucky when it comes to choosing what language they can write their story in. Just like suspension of disbelief will let readers believe there are really ghosts in a book, it will let readers believe that someone living in Ancient Rome or on a distant planet speaks fluent English—or at least the book is a “translation” of whatever language they would be speaking. The problem, therefore, becomes what to do when a character is bilingual. Many times that raises issues of both needing to show a switch between languages while not confusing readers who very likely don’t speak both languages. After all, you can’t exactly run subtitles under the dialogue like you would in a movie.

In both of my most recent Broken Line books (novella, The Copper Rebellion, and Book 3, The Paper Masque) I came up against just this problem. While Books 1 and 2 take place in their version of England, The Copper Rebellion finds protagonist, Adela, abroad in a version of France and the protagonist of The Paper Masque, Elsie, finds herself dealing with a number of Irish Gaelic speakers throughout her story. While some readers might speak either of those languages, requiring all readers be trilingual to finish the series seemed like a tall order.

So what to do then, when your characters speak more than one language? There are a few different methods, all of which depend on your Point of View (POV) character.

POV Character is Bilingual

 

If your POV Character in a scene understands whatever the language being spoken is, the easiest method is to use tags like “in French” at the end of dialogue to show that the characters are now speaking another language. For example, in The Copper Rebellion we find:

“Bonjour, madame…” The tallest stopped in front of her, Adela’s mind taking a moment to click over into [French]. “…how may we help you?”

Adela gave a pretty smile, silently thanking her grandmother’s insistence on learning the language. “Good day. I am Adela Wembley, and I have come to call on his majesty, King Charles, if he is in?”

The reader has been filled in that they are now speaking in another language, and dialogue can continue on in English.

Note: To add credence to the switch, you can use a few words here and there of the language you’re switching from. Just try to make sure that they are either words that the reader would likely know (such as Bonjour) or words that are not important to the meaning of the sentence (so that the reader hasn’t missed anything if they don’t understand that word).

You will likely notice that I have used italics throughout the sample above after the language switch. If your character will be staying in one language more often than not, italics are not necessary (you can simply add “in French”/“in German”/etc. Italics, however, can be handy if you’re going to be switching in and out of a language quickly. For example:

“There is a messenger here for you, madame,” the servant continued.

Adela recovered enough to smile. “Mr. Fletcher. What a surprise.”

Antony seemed to take everything in, bowed as his gaze began to linger too long. “Your majesty.”

Louis turned to her. “A friend of yours?”

“Monsieur le duc, this is Antony Fletcher. He was a painter at my late husband’s court.” She looked back at Antony, flipped to [English]. “Mr. Fletcher, Louis Delone, Duke of Parnulle and brother to the king.”

Since Adela is speaking to Antony and Louis in two separate languages, it became simplest to establish that italics=French, no italics=English and remove “in English” and “in French” from appearing over and over again. You can determine if italics are necessary for clarity’s sake in your own writing.

POV Character is not Bilingual  

If your POV character does not speak the second language being used in a scene, things get a little trickier. You see, since the character doesn’t know what is being said, there is no way for them to relate what is being said.

The easiest way to get around this problem is to have another character translate. For example:

 

Stringing a rope along the ceiling, Úna continued to speak to Laurence as she worked.

“She’s dividing up the room,” Laurence translated. “She says we aren’t married so we can’t sleep in the same room together.”

By having a character who speaks the second language translate, you can get a summary of what is being said across without the POV character needing to understand it word for word.

If the POV character doesn’t have someone to translate for them, try to stick to things the reader doesn’t need to understand, put in enough so that the reader can follow along, or have the POV character make guesses as to the content. For example:

Colm continued to rant in [Gaelic], switching as he turned to Gordon, “Though, like you really understand what we’re even saying, eachtrannach.”

“Díul mó bhad,” Gordon returned, Elsie entirely willing to believe it was an insult just by the tone.

If someone speaks Irish Gaelic, they won’t need to be told that what Gordon says is an insult, but the rest of the audience has been told enough to pass over the phrase with the knowledge that Gordon says something insulting.

POV Character is Learning

For the most part, I don’t suggest taking the “subtitle” route, where you give lines in whatever foreign language a character is speaking and then add the translation verbatim after it. This is primarily because it can become clunky/disrupt the flow of the scene. Readers who don’t know the original language will have to skip over to find the translation meaning more “clutter” in the scene which often leads to slower pacing. It can be effective, however, if used for small stretches. I primarily use this strategy when it comes to a character learning the other language. For example:

“Mon père est un soldat, comme mes frères,” Antony pieced the sentence together, doing his best to explain his family—the martial proclivity he hadn’t seemed to inherit with the rest of his brothers.

“Vous ne voulez pas être un soldat?” Henriette asked quickly.

You did not want to be a soldier? Antony pieced the words together with just a little delay, answered, “Non. Not at all.”

“You really are not bad.” Henriette switched back to [English].

The extra wordiness in these instances can work well since it forces in the lull it takes the character to think of what the other characters are saying. The POV character is likely a step behind and so the “clunky” feel to the wording will suit for pacing.

All in all, when in doubt, understandability should be the goal when it comes to using two languages in your writing. You don’t want your readers to miss an important plot point just because they don’t speak as many languages as your character—or worse, to get so frustrated, they put your book down. Err on the side of caution and, when in doubt, call in a beta reader or two and see if it makes sense to readers who don’t speak a second language.


Find Jessica Dall online at her website jessicadall.com
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On Twitter: @JessicaDall