Kate Warren

fiction with humor and heart

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Excerpt

Six Sentence Sundays 3/25/12

3/25/2012

17 Comments

 
Last week hero Chauncy DeFord shared a tender moment with the lovely fifteen year old Elizabeth Brighton, belle of the Frandian court.  This week's Six Sentences come after their conversation has been interrupted and he's beaten a hasty retreat, leaving young Miss Brighton alone with an ambitious social climber and a clueless court maiden. Elizabeth immediately goes in search of her best friend, Sarah Milton.  Not finding her, Elizabeth instead retires to her own chambers.


     "Flopping on the bed, she twirled the rose in her fingers and sighed.  Much as she enjoyed being at court, she sometimes wished to return to the country.  It seemed that everyone had an ambition here and thought her a perfect pawn for their stratagems. It was a lonely place for having so many people present.  Only Sarah and her brother cared for her here.  The only times she’d felt truly happy and sure of herself were when she was with one or both of them ... and when she’d been speaking to Chauncy DeFord just now."


Hope you enjoyed it.  Be sure to visit all the other wonderful authors who participate in Six Sentence Sundays.

17 Comments
Angela Quarles link
3/25/2012 01:04:39 am

Wonderful introspection!

Reply
Kate Meader link
3/25/2012 02:28:57 am

I love this sentence: It was a lonely place for having so many people present. Very nice six, Kate!

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Chantel Rhondeau link
3/25/2012 05:34:09 am

I love the last sentence there and what it hints toward. Nice 6!

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sue link
3/25/2012 06:22:30 am

I wonder what brought her to court? yes a big change in life style Lovely snippet

Reply
Kate Warren
3/25/2012 07:01:07 am

Her brother Lawrence has a position on the king's council and decided it was time to present her at court, and find her a husband.

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Teresa Cypher link
3/25/2012 06:25:22 am

Excellent. You have a gift. This "It was a lonely place for having so many people present." speaks volumes. What human has not felt that way at one time or another? I think it alludes to the emotional distance that people at court kept.

And, the last lines. Wow, impact. It told us on what emotional level she viewed Chauncy--by drawing a perfect diagram. All others=distant. Chauncy= her sister and her brother.

Very nicely done!

Reply
joya fields link
3/25/2012 06:55:03 am

Awesome excerpt, Kate. Love that eloquent way of speaking and thinking. Thanks for sharing. :)

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Gayle Ramage link
3/25/2012 07:08:39 am

Wonderful snippet!

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Lorraine Paton link
3/25/2012 08:02:15 am

Interesting that she knows she has been used as political pawn... and now she's set Chauncy apart from those others who've done that to her. Makes me wonder if all is as it seems with him. :)

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Jessica Knauss link
3/25/2012 08:46:38 am

The language is refreshingly formal and I appreciate how it talks about friendship, which seems so lacking in most romance.

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Sandra Sookoo
3/25/2012 09:29:22 am

I think we've all felt alone in a crowd before. Nice job!

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Jessica Subject link
3/25/2012 09:41:04 am

Poor girl! Maybe she'll see Chauncy DeFord again soon. Great six! :)

Reply
Elaine Cantrell link
3/25/2012 10:01:41 am

It was a lonely place for having so many people present. Wish i'd thought of that!

Reply
Carmen DeSousa link
3/25/2012 02:44:00 pm

You know it always seems I'm on the fringe. I always think, "What do I like best about these small excerpts we read each week?" Then I read everybody else's comments. I see words in my head as pictures. Without even thinking deeply about what I read, I could visualize the young girl flopping herself down on the bed while she twirled the rose. Yes you wrote exactly that, but to plant the image in my head, means it was written well. And that is a sign of great writing.

Reply
Donna Cummings link
3/25/2012 02:50:59 pm

I can definitely feel her loneliness, as well as her longing for a genuine connection--something other than how she can advance someone else's cause. :)

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Babette James link
3/26/2012 04:21:34 am

Lovely six.

Reply
Silver James link
3/26/2012 10:40:38 am

I'm slow getting around to reading everyone's Sixes this week. I agree with all the previous commenters. You have an elegant way with words that fit this setting very well. Word choice all sentence structure work to achieve a very vivid picture of the girl and the circumstances. Well done!

Reply



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