Kate Warren

fiction with humor and heart

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Excerpt

WeWriWa 16

1/4/2014

39 Comments

 
Picture
Welcome friends and neighbors to another awesome weekend.  Why is it awesome?  Because with the weekend comes posts from the Weekend Writing Warriors, a group of authors who post exactly eight sentences of their work and link back to the WeWriWa website.  Click on the picture at the left or the link above to visit the site and find the list filled with literary deliciousness for your enjoyment!

Side note: there is something terribly odd going on with the font formatting on my website.  I may have to contact someone about it.

As previously mentioned, I am switching back to my historical work-in-progress (The DeFord Chronicles, Part II) for the new year.  The goal is to finally get the first draft finished, and if I'm very lucky, get it published before the end of 2014.  Given that it's been a while since I posted from this one, I considered going back to the beginning, but decided random scrolling is way more fun.  This week's excerpt is brought to you be stir-crazy mothers everywhere (hang in there--school will start again soon!) and by Chapter 21. 

In this excerpt, young Prince Dimitri is delighting in the company of a young woman to whom he has lost his heart.  He has yet to find a way to tell Lilia of his feelings however, and fears that she might not return his regard. 

She was to him the essence of feminine perfection—a model of maidenly virtue and beauty.  Her modesty was unequalled by any at court, and he should know, he had spent his life among young ladies who seemed to think his brother Nicholas and himself the sole ambition in life worth attaining.  Lilia was not aware of her own appeal, and that in and of itself he found utterly charming.  She did not see the way her eyes lit when she heard a beautiful piece of music.  She did not know that her skin glowed in the light of candles.  She did not seem to think herself particularly lovely, and her ears, which the prince found charming, she considered to be her greatest visible flaw.  Lilia thought her hair a tedious shade of dark brown and her eyes unremarkable.  But to Dimitri she had tresses like the coat of the most beautiful horse he had ever seen, and her gaze was expressive beyond words, the color of those speaking orbs seeming to him a mixture of amber and wild honey.




Poor Dimitri.  His thoughts are so poetic, but when he opens his mouth around Lilia, he's rather less eloquent.  That's all from me this week.  See you around the blogs!

Kate




39 Comments
Jess Schira
1/4/2014 10:58:54 pm

Kate, this is a truly remarkable snippet. Not only is the writing fluid, but it also shows a great deal of insight into both characters. You should be very proud of it!

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Kate Warren
1/5/2014 06:09:19 am

Thanks, Jess! I think I'm blushing now.

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Gemma Parkes link
1/5/2014 01:29:11 am

This is a beautiful piece of writing, full of thoughtful description, i enjoyed it very much and look forward to more next week.

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Kate Warren
1/5/2014 06:09:39 am

Thank you, Gemma!

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A.S. Fenichel link
1/5/2014 02:07:20 am

Wonderful description. Great snippet!

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Kate Warren
1/5/2014 06:10:10 am

Thanks, A.S.!

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charmaine gordon link
1/5/2014 02:49:32 am

Exceptional description comparing her to other wondrous objects of beauty important to him. I loved 'the color of his horse" compared to her hair.

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Kate Warren
1/5/2014 06:11:22 am

Thank you, Charmaine. I wasn't sure if I should keep the line about the horse or not.

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Millie Burns link
1/5/2014 04:22:20 am

This is such a lovely way to see this mans mind at work. He's so smitten. Delightful.

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Kate Warren
1/5/2014 06:17:51 am

Thanks, Millie!

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Veronica Scott link
1/5/2014 04:43:02 am

He's obviously spent a lot of time considering her many virtues and aspects, which I love. It's too bad he gets tongue-tied when he actually talks to her LOL. Excellent excerpt!

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Kate Warren
1/5/2014 06:19:25 am

Thank you. Very true, Veronica. He's been smitten with Lilia for quite a while, but unable to let her know.

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Carrie-Anne link
1/5/2014 04:55:34 am

I love the descriptions in this passage. It's nice to find this kind of old-fashioned narrative these days.

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Kate Warren
1/5/2014 06:20:23 am

Thanks, Carrie-Anne! That's such a lovely compliment, especially considering the time-frame of the story!

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Sue Ann Bowling link
1/5/2014 05:27:57 am

I love his comparisons.

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Kate Warren
1/5/2014 06:20:58 am

Thanks, Sue Ann!

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Cara Bristol link
1/5/2014 06:24:37 am

Beautiful to see her through his eyes.

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Kate Warren
1/5/2014 08:10:31 am

Thank you, Cara.

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Marcia link
1/5/2014 06:42:35 am

lol! I laugh but it's a wonderful excerpt. So expressive and we immediately get caught up not just in this model of femininity, but in the man who is so smitten. Lovely job here, thanks for picking this to post.

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Kate Warren
1/5/2014 08:10:56 am

Thank you, Marcia.

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Eleri Stone link
1/5/2014 07:10:14 am

Oh, he's got it bad. Hope she lives up to his expectations!

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Kate Warren
1/5/2014 08:16:07 am

Thanks, Eleri. Lilia really is wonderful.

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sue link
1/5/2014 07:30:42 am

the best way to learn about someone is through another's eyes. And you did an admirable job here

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Kate Warren
1/5/2014 08:16:39 am

Thank you, Sue!

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Sarah W link
1/5/2014 07:42:30 am

I'm not sure comparing her to a horse is the best way to go about it, but the rest sounds good---if he could bring himself to say it! :D

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Kate Warren
1/5/2014 08:17:24 am

I'm really not sure either. That line may not make it to the final draft. Thanks for the compliment.

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Teresa Cypher link
1/5/2014 10:35:49 am

Oh my...we've missed you! Lovely, lovely snippet, Kate! If the poor prince could say it like he thinks it. :-) I like to believe that many men have that problem--and that they think far better than they speak ;-)

Excellent 8!

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Kate Warren
1/5/2014 01:44:07 pm

Thank you, Teresa!

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Chelle Cordero link
1/5/2014 10:42:26 am

Excellent way you allowed us into his inner thoughts, I could truly see her through his eyes.

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Kate Warren
1/5/2014 01:44:35 pm

Thanks, Chelle. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

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Karen Michelle Nutt link
1/5/2014 10:49:03 am

Great snippet. Love the insight to the characters. Beautifully done.

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Kate Warren
1/5/2014 01:44:54 pm

Thank you, Karen.

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Caitlin link
1/5/2014 11:53:28 am

He is very lyrical about her--it's lovely. :) I can see how he might have a hard time convincing her that he thinks she's beautiful. I can see it now...

"Your hair is like a horse."
"What!?"
"No, I mean..."

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Kate Warren
1/5/2014 01:45:35 pm

LOL! He does better writing things down. He wrote her a lovely sonnet.

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S.J. Maylee link
1/5/2014 11:55:20 am

Lovely descriptions. I can tell how much he cares for her. Aw! :)

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Kate Warren
1/5/2014 01:46:27 pm

Thank you, S.J. These two are so sweet. It's a shame to torture them as I do.

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karen Y. bynum link
1/8/2014 07:16:59 am

Love the way he sees her. Beautifully written.

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Linda Hamonou link
1/9/2014 10:47:06 pm

Did he just compare her to a horse? Men are strange sometimes, he better not tell her that.

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Kate Warren
1/10/2014 05:32:33 am

LOL This particular man is quite young. Don't worry, he never gets that one said out loud. ;)

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