Kate Warren

fiction with humor and heart

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Excerpt

WeWriWa  4

2/23/2013

73 Comments

 
It's the last weekend of February, and thus the last weekend I will deliberately focus on a romantic eight sentences for WeWriWa. 

It would have been lovely to close out the month with the main character and his lady love.  Unfortunately, they are not together at this point in the story.  Instead I give you a dear friend of his. 

Duncan St. Robert is somewhat of a ladies' man, but he has never yet been in love.  His sisters have been warning him for some time that when he does fall, he'll fall hard.  In this scene he's been watching a new lady at court, or rather watching her back.  Then she turns around...


          "His heart stopped beating in his chest, and then resumed at a galloping pace. This maiden had alabaster skin and delicate brows framing eyes that beckoned to him despite the fact that she had not seen him.  He could not tell the color of those enchanting orbs and he felt as if his life’s work must be to discover their hue. 
          Duncan squared his shoulders, took ten steps toward her … and tripped.  
           Red curls appeared in front of his face.  “Are you hurt?”  He looked up into gray- green eyes filled with concern for him and in that instant lost his heart.  
           “I feel no pain.”


I suppose I should mention that the red curls belong to the very lady he was watching.  And Duncan doesn't know it, but she was watching him too. 

That's my eight for the week.  Please be sure to visit all the other talented authors who participate in WeWriWa.

Kate
73 Comments
Jess Schira
2/23/2013 11:38:51 pm

I liked it. You did an excellent job capturing his reaction. Also, I added Bridging the Gap to my to-read list. I'm quite looking forward to finally being able to read it.

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Kate Warren link
2/24/2013 03:21:30 am

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Kate Warren
2/24/2013 02:42:12 pm

Weebly ate my comment. Thank you for your support, Jess!

A.S. Fenichel link
2/24/2013 01:36:54 am

Ha! "I feel no pain" Fantastic. I love this snippet! Well done.

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Kate Warren
2/24/2013 03:22:06 am

Thanks, A. S. :o)

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Nan link
2/24/2013 02:01:55 am

I love it that the hero tripped! Usually the heroine is the klutz--this is refreshing. Your snippet gives us a quick look at a fallible hero--nice!

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Nan link
2/24/2013 02:03:16 am

Whoops, just reread and see that he's not the hero of the book, but a secondary character. Sorry. Any chance we'll see him in his own story? I like him!

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Kate Warren
2/24/2013 03:23:52 am

Thank you, Nan. I rather like Duncan too. At this point I have no plans for him to star in his own story, but as he is a dear friend of the hero we'll see quite a lot of him in this one. He'll be in "The DeFord Chronicles, Part III" as well.

Clare Davidson link
2/24/2013 03:09:01 am

His sister's were right - he did fall hard ;-) I love the initial description of the lady, especially her eyes.

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Kate Warren
2/24/2013 03:25:07 am

Thanks, Clare. Duncan does have a special fondness for her eyes. He decribes them later as being a soft gray-green "like moss on northern curtain walls."

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sue link
2/24/2013 03:23:28 am

Really good scene and I too loved that he tripped, was unexpected, and the no pain line Together with the intro could really feel his emotions

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Kate Warren
2/24/2013 03:26:08 am

Thank you, Sue. Duncan never does anything by halves. He feels things quite strongly. It's both a weakness and a strength for him.

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Teresa Cypher link
2/24/2013 03:23:47 am

~Wearing a wide smile~ Such romance! Duncan deserves this. And I liked the literal "fall hard" image--after he'd been warned by his sisters that he'd fall hard. lol.

Lovely post, Kate!

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Kate Warren
2/24/2013 03:27:17 am

Thanks, Teresa. Poor Duncan. He didn't expect his sisters' prediction to be so literal. :o)

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Veronica Scott link
2/24/2013 04:04:43 am

TRIPPED?! Oh the poor man...really enjoyed this snippet!

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Kate Warren
2/24/2013 06:00:47 am

Thank you, Veronica!

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Sue Ann Bowling link
2/24/2013 05:46:43 am

I love the falling flat on his face.

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Kate Warren
2/24/2013 06:01:27 am

So do I. I can be quite mean to my characters some times.

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Karen Michelle Nutt link
2/24/2013 05:50:47 am

I was chuckling when he tripped. I love it that it was the hero. He 'fell hard' didn't he? (hee hee)

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Kate Warren
2/24/2013 06:02:13 am

He did indeed fall hard, Karen. And though he's not THE hero, he does end up being this lady's hero.

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Sarah W link
2/24/2013 05:58:49 am

When a ladies' man falls, he leaves a heart-shaped crater! :D

So much fun.

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Kate Warren
2/24/2013 06:03:39 am

What a lovely thought, Sarah! A heart-shaped crater. Very nice.

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ann swann link
2/24/2013 06:09:07 am

Love it! I'm also in love with the name, Duncan. Great 8 Kate!

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Kate Warren
2/24/2013 02:43:52 pm

Thank you, Ann. One of the advantages of a story set well in the past is that I can use so many wonderful names that aren't in fashion anymore.

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Catherine Cavendish link
2/24/2013 06:22:29 am

He's smitten! Great extract

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Kate Warren
2/24/2013 02:44:49 pm

Thanks, Catherine!

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Joanne Stewart link
2/24/2013 06:24:32 am

hahaha. Oh my goodness Kate. That poor guy. Fantastic humor in this. I love it. Superb snippet.

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Kate Warren
2/24/2013 02:45:38 pm

Thank you, Joanne! Duncan's one of my favorite characters to torture...I mean write. ;o)

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Debbie link
2/24/2013 06:44:55 am

"His heart stopped beating in his chest" really captures the moment. Great, descriptive excerpt.

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Kate Warren
2/24/2013 02:46:47 pm

Thanks, Debbie. This girl has had a huge impact on him and he hasn't even learned her name yet!

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Dana link
2/24/2013 06:46:06 am

Beautiful, and very well written. Thank you for sharing.

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Kate Warren
2/24/2013 02:47:30 pm

Thanks so much for the compliments, Dana!

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Siobhan Muir
2/24/2013 06:49:36 am

Great introduction of your characters, Kate. I liked how his attempt at being suave was thwarted by his own feet. Nicely done. :)

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Kate Warren
2/24/2013 02:48:32 pm

LOL. Yes, normally Duncan is quite smooth with the ladies.

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elaine cantrell link
2/24/2013 07:00:28 am

He's fallen hard in more than one way. Super introduction of the main characters.

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Kate Warren
2/24/2013 02:49:11 pm

Thank you for coming by, Elaine.

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Rosalind Smith-Nazilli link
2/24/2013 07:06:25 am

A beautifully written 8.. such humour and atmosphere..

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Kate Warren
2/24/2013 02:50:01 pm

Thank you, Rosalind!

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Kylie Scott link
2/24/2013 07:08:43 am

Nicely handled. I feel no pain is such a simple, effective line. Honestly, beautiful clean writing.

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Kate Warren
2/24/2013 02:50:43 pm

Wow! What a wonderful compliment to receive! Thank you, Kylie!

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Mandy Earles link
2/24/2013 07:16:59 am

Haha. I wish I had such an effect on men. I love the way you describe her from his POV. And I loved that he tripped. It makes it more realistic and makes their meeting more unique. Great job. Can't wait to read more!

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Kate Warren
2/24/2013 02:51:25 pm

Thanks so much, Mandy!

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Brenda Barry link
2/24/2013 07:23:29 am

seems like he fell more than once, if you know what I mean. ;-) I loved his thoughts and the way you made he pop out of the story. Great Snippet. :-)

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Kate Warren
2/24/2013 02:51:52 pm

Thank you, Brenda!

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Virginia Kelly link
2/24/2013 08:03:33 am

Oh how wonderful! I'm still smiling. What a way to meet his lady love :-)

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Kate Warren
2/24/2013 02:52:18 pm

So glad you liked it, Virginia!

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Claire Gillian link
2/24/2013 08:20:57 am

Aww, sweet. He fell literally and figuratively for her. LOL

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Kate Warren
2/24/2013 02:52:40 pm

Thanks, Claire!

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karen Y. bynum link
2/24/2013 08:31:04 am

Loved it, Kate! Especially this: his life’s work must be to discover their hue. Ohh and poor Duncan for falling! But I think it's great that they were watching each other ;)

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Kate Warren
2/24/2013 02:53:53 pm

Thank you, Karen. Duncan and Gillian have a unique chemistry, it's passionate but at the same time a little bit innocent. They're a lot of fun to write.

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Monica Rodriguez link
2/24/2013 08:33:45 am

Love that you had him trip!

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Kate Warren
2/24/2013 02:54:57 pm

Thanks, Monica. Duncan is usually so practiced and polished with girls, I had to make sure the way he met "the one" would be different.

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Botanist link
2/24/2013 09:13:33 am

...and tripped! Love it :) But he seems to have come out on top anyway.

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Kate Warren
2/24/2013 02:57:16 pm

Thanks, Botanist! Glad you liked it.

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Joya Fields link
2/24/2013 09:37:36 am

Great emotion, Kate. Loved the excerpt. Thanks for the warm welcome to WeWriWa.

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Kate Warren
2/24/2013 02:59:26 pm

You're quite welcome, Joya. And thank you for your kind words.

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Jenna Jaxon link
2/24/2013 10:13:26 am

I can so see his actions--trying to be nonchalant and ending up as a klutz. This promises to be an interesting courtship. :) Great 8!

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Kate Warren
2/24/2013 03:00:33 pm

Thanks, Jenna! And yes, it will be an interesting courtship.

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Carrie Crain link
2/24/2013 10:30:57 am

Absolutely enchanting and delightful. Cheers!

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Kate Warren
2/24/2013 03:00:56 pm

Aw! Thanks, Carrie!

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Keeley Saint James link
2/24/2013 10:56:08 am

I love the setting here. Initial impression - how cocky is this guy... And then he does a face plant. Love it. What a great way to intro him. Excellent job Kate :)

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Kate Warren
2/24/2013 03:02:19 pm

Thank you, Keeley! Duncan's very much like his father had been at that age. The St. Robert men need strong women to match them, and Duncan's found a fiery lass to keep him on his toes.

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Eleri Stone link
2/24/2013 11:21:46 am

Right at her feet. I love so much that he tripped!

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Kate Warren
2/24/2013 03:02:51 pm

Thanks, Eleri. That does seem to be everyone's favorite part. ;o)

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Dani-Lyn Alexander link
2/24/2013 03:04:04 pm

Love the humor, the sweetness, the emotions, great excerpt!

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Zee Monodee link
2/24/2013 03:28:04 pm

Loved this excerpt! You caught that moment so well!!!

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Carol Duff link
2/24/2013 03:41:21 pm

The hero is not into his romance yet, but his best friend falls, and seems to fall hard for the alabaster skin and the grey-green eyes. What a lead for the hero to follow. After some development of his friend's find, I'll bet he is really thinking.

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Melonie Johnson link
2/24/2013 03:48:38 pm

Love it when the smooth talking ladies' man trips into love :) Makes him more real.

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Goran Zidar link
2/24/2013 04:52:19 pm

A little bit of physical humour to lighten the moment. I must admit I wasn't expecting it. Great stuff.

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Paula Martin link
2/25/2013 12:37:48 am

He's definitely 'fallen' for her :-)

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John Van Vliet link
2/25/2013 04:53:39 am

Perhaps no physical pain. How about the pain of embarrassment? I think I would.

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AJ Bradley link
2/25/2013 07:19:48 am

Kapow! Love this. Love it when the confirmed bachelors fall hard. Great 8!

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Marcia link
2/25/2013 01:38:29 pm

Well I sure didn't expect him to trip! :D Great excerpt. I love to see the guy at a disadvantage instead of always the woman. I like the mild humor in this.

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