WeWriWa 5

3/2/2013

Thank you to everyone who stopped by last weekend to read and to comment. I love reading your words. Now that February is over I shall go back to my random scrolling method of excerpt selection and back to the second half of my WIP The DeFord Chronicles, Part II.

After all that romance, I believe it's time for some drama. From Chapter 22: the screams of a young lady have brought his majesty's castellan, Lord Hubert, to a particular bedchamber in the palace.  It is he who speaks.

          "You there,” he indicated a page standing within view. “Go at once to the king, then to the queen and Lord and Lady St. Robert. Tell them to come as soon as they can but nothing more except that it is I who sent for them.”
          He knelt by one of the ladies on the floor and put his hand over her mouth and nose. She still breathed. He moved to the other, her breath was weaker but she lived yet. He rose again and motioned to one of the men he recognized. “Take a few men, locate every member of the royal family that you can, do it quietly."

Lest anyone wonder, it's poison and one of the victims is a princess. I actually haven't written much past this point and I'm hoping that posting it will give me renewed incentive to get back to work on the draft. Now, off I go to visit my fellow Weekend Writing Warriors.

Kate

54 Comments

Jess Schira link

3/3/2013 12:04:54 am

I like the crispness of his dialogue. Something tells me that when trying to rose/locate every member of the royal family, things won't stay quiet for long.

Kate Warren

3/3/2013 01:30:46 am

Thank you, Jess. You are right, it won't stay quiet for long.

charmaine gordon link

3/3/2013 12:37:25 am

Please continue. This is good.

Kate Warren

3/3/2013 01:31:21 am

Thank you, Charmaine! I did sit down and write some more last night after posting.

Sara Barnard link

3/3/2013 01:09:11 am

Awesome excerpt! LOVING reading The Chronicles, btw!

Kate Warren

3/3/2013 01:31:55 am

Thank you so much, Sara!

Teresa link

3/3/2013 02:19:18 am

Wonderful Kate. The period vocabulary is perfection. The dialogue, crisp and clear. And all of this while you were under the weather? :-) Hope you feel better. :-)

Kate Warren

3/3/2013 03:29:08 am

Thank you, Teresa! I actually wrote this while I was over the weather. Think I just created a new phrase there. But I did write some more last night.

Carol Duff link

3/3/2013 04:24:56 am

Only a page and some men nearby? I wonder who screamed? I usually place screaming with a female. Did they have the strength to scream so close to collapse? His hand near there mouth to discover breathing. Does he smell his hand? Does he smell their breath? What does he think has happened? So many questions to make you read farther.

Kate Warren

3/3/2013 05:07:50 am

It was one of the servant girls who screamed. The scene began with that but by itself that didn't make a compelling eight sentences so I skipped ahead of it. Thank you, Carol.

Veronica Scott link

3/3/2013 04:34:43 am

Seems like a very promising story indeed. I want to keep reading!

Kate Warren

3/3/2013 05:08:10 am

Thanks, Veronica!

sue link

3/3/2013 04:37:16 am

good question - who screamed? Your descriptions and dialogue are spot on

Kate Warren

3/3/2013 05:08:32 am

Thank you, Sue!

Carrie-Anne link

3/3/2013 04:56:46 am

Very intense scene! I wonder who poisoned them and why.

Kate Warren

3/3/2013 05:09:17 am

Thanks, Carrie-Anne. Someone's got it in for the royal family. The other young lady was just in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Elaine Cantrell

3/3/2013 04:56:47 am

Great excerpt. It raises a lot of possibilities.

Kate Warren

3/3/2013 05:09:34 am

Thank you, Elaine!

AJ Bradley link

3/3/2013 05:51:51 am

Please continue! WHAT has happened to these ladies, is the royal family ok? I need to know!

Kate Warren

3/3/2013 06:14:04 am

Thanks, AJ. I will finish it. Just need time and to get BICHOK.

Gem Sivad link

3/3/2013 06:12:35 am

Keep writing. I love it!

Kate Warren

3/3/2013 06:14:21 am

Thanks, Gem!

Evelyn Jules link

3/3/2013 06:18:27 am

You always manage to intrigue me with your excerpts. Now I must know what happens next! Great post, Kate!

Kate Warren

3/3/2013 07:10:07 am

Thank you, Evelyn!

Sue Ann Bowling link

3/3/2013 06:18:53 am

Are they going to live?

Kate Warren

3/3/2013 07:10:25 am

One of them will.

Linda Morris link

3/3/2013 07:28:31 am

Go, Kate, go! You have a lovely voice for a medieval historical. You have to keep going with this!

Kate Warren

3/3/2013 07:36:37 am

Thank you, Linda! I shall continue. I hope to finish the draft by the end of March.

Marcia link

3/3/2013 08:21:23 am

I like the quiet intensity here. I get the feeling Lord Hubert is probably struggling a bit to stay calm. I hope you post more, this is a heckuva place to stop!

Kate Warren

3/3/2013 08:31:55 am

Thanks, Marcia!

Mandy Earles link

3/3/2013 08:29:14 am

Oh poison... and the plot thickens. Very nice. I want to find out who poisoned them and why.

Kate Warren

3/3/2013 08:34:04 am

Thank you, Mandy. The last murder was a poisoned arrow meant for the crown prince that hit someone else instead. Different poisons are used for each, so they could be dealing with two villains instead of one.

John Van Vliet

3/3/2013 09:19:48 am

Very interested in what happens next. Nice snippet.

Kate Warren

3/3/2013 10:01:09 am

Thanks, John!

Melonie J link

3/3/2013 09:38:36 am

Perhaps it's the mother in me, but first thing I thought is - I hope the page gets the message delivered correctly! ;P

Kate Warren

3/3/2013 10:01:42 am

No worries, Melonie. He does. :o)

Ann Swann link

3/3/2013 12:02:14 pm

Love the period dialog, puts me right in the era of kings and queens and evil doings...like poison. Can't wait to read more!

Kate Warren

3/3/2013 12:07:30 pm

Thank you, Ann!

Claire Gillian link

3/3/2013 12:07:58 pm

Yikes, 2 poisoned ladies. Wonder why he didn't include more in his message, though? Hmmm.

Kate Warren

3/3/2013 12:44:33 pm

Fun as that question could be, Lord Hubert is only trying to do a little preventative damage control and minimize the trauma to the girls' parents. Sadly, it doesn't work.

Clare Davidson link

3/3/2013 07:23:11 pm

I like his no-nonsense response to the situation and the way he prioritises his reactions.

Kate Warren

3/3/2013 11:27:53 pm

Thank you, Clare!

Majanka link

3/3/2013 07:44:16 pm

I like murder mysteries. The poison is a nice touch. The character's voice is interesting and fits the setting. He's swift to get into action, which is always a good thing in my book.

Kate Warren

3/3/2013 11:28:36 pm

Thanks, Majanka!

THE FICTION VIXEN link

3/3/2013 08:26:42 pm

This totally gripping.. so well written.. I need to know what is going on.

By the way I love your website.. Absolutely classic..

Kate Warren

3/3/2013 11:29:45 pm

Thank you on both counts! I worked with a wonderful designer to create the look for the site. You can find her on my Links page.

Dana link

3/3/2013 08:55:08 pm

Riveting! I hope you'll continue with the story. I especially like how you created a feeling of urgency in the sixth sentence by comparing their state of health. :)

Kate Warren

3/3/2013 11:30:24 pm

Thanks, Dana! :o)

Catherine Cavendish link

3/4/2013 12:21:10 am

Great sense of time and place. Great 8!

Kate Warren

3/4/2013 09:21:12 am

Thank you, Catherine!

Joyce Scarbrough link

3/4/2013 01:54:24 am

Oh, you definitely need to keep going! This has a wonderful "Game of Thrones" feel to it!

Kate Warren

3/4/2013 09:22:17 am

Thanks, Joyce! I've actually never read/seen Game of Thrones. But I hear it's great. :o)

ED Martin link

3/9/2013 06:56:39 am

What a tense situation - you captured his emotions well.

Kate Warren

3/9/2013 12:31:13 pm

Thank you, ED. I hope you'll check out this weekend's excerpt as well. It's rather lighter than this one. :o)

Kate Warren

the condensed writer

WeWriWa 5

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