Like everyone else I'm having some issues with current pandemic conditions. Worrying about my family, my friends, neighbors, acquaintances, people I've seen at the doctor's office, etc. Okay, maybe not everyone takes it as far as I do.
If you have written to me in the last several months, I sincerely apologize for not getting back to you. I've been doing a stunningly good imitation of a chronically frightened turtle, and not even reading emails. Facebook is a thing of the past for me at the moment; I just cannot deal with it right now. Though I still pin up a storm on Pinterest from time to time, it's less people-y.
So, what's the deal with these disappearing acts of mine? Good question, and it's one I've been working on trying to answer (and feeling bad about), but I have actually learned something about the reason behind it. If you are at all familiar with the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator you may have heard of the elusive, mysterious INFJ. I am one such creature. Apparently we are very rare, compared to other types. And if we get overwhelmed enough, for long enough, we will crawl into our shells and hide from the world until we can deal with it again.
You may think the MBTI is a load of hooey (my mom does), but I've actually found researching my type to be helpful. Having grown up feeling like a freak for being so different, it's good to know that there are others like me in the world, and that some of the things I've been beating myself up about are just the way I'm wired--I can work on the ones I don't like, and let go of worrying about the others.
Been working with a therapist since my bad depression crash last fall, and learning a lot about myself, some good, some not so good. Growth and improvement can be painful, but I'm determined to break out of the holding pattern I've been in for so long, and make real progress, now that I know what to work on and have a sense of direction. Two steps forward, one step back and all that.
I'm not going to make any promises about how frequently I'll be blogging, or Tweeting, or even checking my email, because when I do that something always comes along to pull the rug out from under me. But I will make an effort to write myself notes to do those things. Well...maybe not Twitter for a while yet. I'm still healing, and Twitter can be fast and furious.
I'm working on creative projects again, slowly but surely, and I hope getting back to my books will be in the near future (currently I'm working on a song, they're so much shorter than novels).
Anyway, if you're still with me, thank you for your patience and your faith in me.